Dirty Adult Jokes: Don't Drink Too Much (Life)

Two guys are drinking at a bar when one turns to the other and says "Right, time I was going home, the wife only lets me have 4 beers." His friend says, "No, no, no, that'll never do. You should do what I do. Drink as many beers as you can fit down you, follow that with 5 tequilas, 3 whiskeys and a bourbon! Then go home, shove your head under the blanket and lick your wifes pussy like crazy, she WON'T complain after, trust me!" So the 1st guy says "FUCK IT!!", gets tanked and wobbles home. After he stumbles up the stairs he opens the bedroom door, and without hesitation, dives under the blanket and licks away! After 5 minutes he figures "Right, best go wash up or she'll never kiss me like this." So of to the bathroom he goes. When he gets there he see's his wife, laid there in the bath reading a book. "What the fuck!!" he shouts out. "SHUSH!!" she wispers back to him "You'll wake your mother!!"